Guide for Couples Moving in Together (3 Steps)

The prospect of living with your significant other might be enticing, particularly because you get to spend more time with the person you love.

Sharing a space can foster a strong sense of intimacy and closeness with the one you love. That said, transitioning from two households to renting as a couple is challenging and requires a ton (seriously, a lot!) of conversations.

If you're willing to put in the work and merge households, you'll get to experience the joys of living with your best friend. This guide will walk you through everything you need to know, discuss, and think about before moving in with your partner.

Let's dive in!

What are the Benefits of Moving in Together?

If you're on the fence about moving in with your partner, you should consider the pros of moving in together before making a final decision.

Here's a look at some of the top benefits of moving in together with your significant other.

Convenience

When you live together, you benefit from the convenience of having a shared 'home base,' which simplifies planning, saves time, and doesn't require one of you to always carry a spare toothbrush.

Whether you want a movie-watching buddy or someone to split chores with, that special someone is usually just a few feet away when you're sharing a space.

As a bonus, you'll no longer waste time coordinating dinners or hauling your overnight bag around multiple times a week.

Emotional Support

In a healthy relationship, partners provide one another with invaluable emotional support. Sometimes, living apart can create an emotional support barrier.

If you need a hug (which we all do at some point), your partner could be across town at their apartment. Most of the time, FaceTime or Zoom just won't cut it.

Living together removes a significant emotional support obstacle. You can be there for your partner in person, and they can do the same for you.

Whatever the experience, sharing your lows or triumphs with your partner is a lot easier when you get to come home to them at the end of the day.

Cost Savings

Cost savings through splitting rent is one of the biggest benefits of moving in together.

Traditionally, when you move in with your partner, there is a 50/50 divide. So, you'll be saving 50% on rent, 50% on groceries, 50% on utilities, and so on.

These cost savings benefit each partner individually by reducing their financial burden, especially in a city with a high cost of living (ahem, San Francisco).

However, they may also help you as a couple. If you're planning on purchasing a home in the future, you may be able to put some of the money you're saving into a house fund.

Step 1: Run through a Pre-Move Checklist

If you've decided that renting with your partner is a good move for your relationship, there are a couple of things you'll need to figure out early on.

Namely, you'll both need to spend some time thinking through the logistics of a move.

Make decisions about whose belongings go where, the apartment space's allocation, finances, and more.

While these tasks may seem daunting, they are necessary if you want to have a smooth transition to living together.

Here are some of the steps to take before beginning your apartment search with your partner..

Inventory All of Your Things

Sharing a space with your partner means sharing space. So, it's important to make decisions about what will go in the new apartment as a couple.

When you make those decisions together, there's a better chance that you will both feel comfortable with the space and what's in it.

Make sure you both take inventory of your belongings to come up with a plan.

Taking inventory of your belongings gives you a much better idea of what you're working with. Between you both, you may find that you own doubles or even triples of some things! This is especially true if you are downsizing from a house to an apartment.

Create a list of all your belongings and use that information to determine who's going to bring what to the new place.

Keep, Sell, Toss, or Donate

After taking inventory of your belongings, decide what to do with the things that you're not going to be keeping or moving with you.

It's best to give things a second life through donation. You can donate gently used items to charities like Goodwill or Amvets. Some charities may offer free furniture donation pick up.

You can also take your donations to local shelters, though be sure to check whether the shelter or charity is accepting donations at this time and pay attention to the things they are desperately in need of when you donate.

Of course, you can also sell the items and use the funds you earn to help fund your new move. You'll have to do your research to figure out the best places to sell things in your area.

It's most common to use online marketplaces, like Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist, or eBay. You may also find local second-hand shops willing to pay fair prices for used goods.

Regardless, try to maximize your profit and minimize the time you spend on the sale. You don't want to end up spending hours haggling over the price of a toaster.

Determine How Much Space You'll Need

Depending on your previous living situation, you may find it challenging to determine how much space you need. Odds are that you might be used to having an entire apartment to yourself or having a very small private space (your bedroom) when renting with roommates.

Fortunately, you've already taken stock of your belongings as a couple and can use the information to make decisions about apartment space.

Consider shared spaces like bathrooms, bedrooms, and closets. Your toiletries, bedding, and clothes are not usually things you'll pare down on during the move.

So, you'll need to ensure that your new apartment has the space to accommodate two sets of these belongings.

Consider Your Lifestyle

Your lifestyle is going to significantly impact the apartment types that best suit you and your partner. Take some time to discuss your preferred amenities with your partner based on your current lifestyle.

You might have a partner who works from home and needs a home office, so you may have to narrow your list down to apartments with at least two bedrooms. Or maybe you want to find an apartment with a garage so that you can use the garage space for your home gym.

Knowing what you want or need in your new home is the best way to save time during your apartment hunt. Your list of options will be much shorter, and you'll be able to view units that fit your needs.

Measure Your Furniture

Measuring your furniture is important to ensure that apartments you're considering have enough square footage to accommodate them.

Don't make the mistake of only measuring inside the space, either. You'll also need to consider space when you're moving your furniture into your new apartment.

For example, if you're looking at a fifth-floor walk-up apartment, you're not going to want to bring bulky furniture that doesn't break down, as it likely won't fit through the front door.

Step 2: Have the Money Talk

While the conversation may be uncomfortable, it's essential to discuss finances when you're moving in with your partner. Moving forward with a clear and accurate picture of your and your partner's financial situation can bring you both peace of mind.

Here are some of the financial matters you'll need to discuss before moving in with your partner, from the credit score you need to rent an apartment to how to split shared expenses proportionally.

Have "The Money Talk"

As you'll likely be sharing financial responsibilities that directly impact your living situation and financial security, you'll want to ensure that your partner is able to cover their portion of your shared expenses.

Of course, you are allowed to have boundaries within these conversations, especially if you plan on sharing expenses while keeping your finances separated. Here's a look at the financial information you need to discuss with your partner before moving in together.

• Your Income: The standard rule of renting requires renters to earn at least three times the monthly rent before taxes. With two incomes, this standard is usually easier to meet. However, if your income is lower or proving your income is more difficult, bring this up to your partner beforehand, so you can adjust your plans as needed.
• Your Credit History: Poor credit history can hinder your chances of landing an apartment as a couple. If you or your partner has bad credit or a credit score below the apartment renting standard of 650, you may want to hold off on trying to rent until you fix your score.
• What You Can Afford: Once you have set aside funds for all the other financial responsibilities in your life (think: student loans, car insurance, etc.), you can determine how much you can afford to put toward shared living expenses.
• Liquid Funds to Cover Move-In Costs: A security deposit, first and last month's rent, and the cost of professional movers means you'll have to have thousands in cash to cover the upfront cost of moving.

These are just the basic financial details you'll need to discuss with your partner before moving in together. However, you may want to merge finances when you move in; every couple is different.

If you are at the stage in your relationship where you are merging finances or want to make financial arrangements for the future, you'll have to discuss your finances in full. So, beyond the basics above, you'll also need to include details about debts, assets, and any other financial obligations you may have.

Equal May Not Be What's Fair

Is there a significant income gap between you and your partner? You'll have to talk about that.

If this is the first time you're discussing your income in detail, it may be tough. Many couples get by splitting things 50/50. However, they may not know whether a cost split is a drop in the bucket for one person and a huge financial burden for the other.

If this is the case for you and your partner, you may want to discuss proportional payments if that is something you both want.

A proportional payment system works on the premise of fairness. For example, let's say one partner earns $100,000 annually and another earns $50,000 annually. In this scenario, their shared living expenses total $24,000 annually.

Split proportionally, the partner earning $100,000 a year would pay $16,000 a year, while the partner earning $50,000 would pay $8,000. Both partners are paying 16% of their income, but the rate is proportional to how much they earn.

Of course, a simpler solution that involves far less math is moving to a place you can both afford.

Step 3: Discuss Other Crucial Topics

Here's a look at some additional things to consider when renting as a couple.

Delegate Chores

It's Friday night, and you've just finished sharing a delicious meal with your partner. You're both full and tired after a long week of work.

Who is going to do the dishes in this scenario?

Regardless of your answer, each couple has a unique way of allocating chores. Not everyone is going to be comfortable cleaning the bathroom, and not everyone wants to spend hours cleaning the kitchen.

You and your partner are going to have to discuss who does what around the house. Similar to financial discussions, you may discuss a proportional amount of work around the house.

If one partner works part-time while the other works full-time, one partner might take on additional chores. However, it depends on what you are both comfortable with.

Have this discussion very early-on to avoid having an argument later.

Me Time

First and foremost, a partner that needs "me time" is not rejecting you. Everybody needs me time.

You and your partner need to discuss what each of your "me time" scenarios look like. For example, you may need an hour of uninterrupted time to binge your favorite television show, or you may need a space in the home to call your own and retreat to when you need a break.

Discussing these things up front can help each partner give their partner a little space whenever they need it.

You may need to put the saying, "distance makes the heart grow fonder," into practice to keep the peace and make time for yourself.

Parking

If you're going to be a two-car household, you need to discuss parking. The simplest solution would be to find an apartment with enough parking space for two cars.

You may find this solution in a tandem parking situation. That said, tandem parking can be challenging, especially if you have relatively similar schedules. It'll take good communication to pull off.

You may also compromise with one vehicle parked in the street while the other sits in the driveway or have one car parked inside the garage and the other in the driveway uncovered.

Yes, there are a lot of parking scenarios for two-car households.

Talk about which options you prefer before scoping out apartment units, so you can find apartments that work for you both.

Don't Forget to Have Fun!

Moving in together is a major change that takes a lot of work to pull off. Of course, that doesn't mean it needs to be a negative experience. In fact, it should be a very positive experience because you are making a move that is going to bring you closer to your partner.

This is your opportunity to start building a life with your partner, so make the most of it. Laugh, cry, dance, sing, and all that good stuff. At the end of the journey, you'll have a happy home with the one you love.

Final Thoughts

If you're ready to make the transition from separate households to renting as a couple and you’ve had all the tough conversations, you're ready to start looking for your apartment — congratulations!

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